settling in

well if I had to pick one work to describe the past couple weeks it would be overwhelming

not to say that I'm not glad to be here, in fact being overwhelmed comes from good things too, I'm just really overwhelmed with everything I've been experiencing, learning, seeing, and doing

so last week was a "normal" week of classes and internship. we had 3 speakers that week for our different classes and that was really interesting
1st speaker - incredible - I think his name s professor Karina - but anyways he named Namibia and co-founded SWAPO (south west africa people's organization) the leading anti-apartheid group and now the leading political party of namibia. he was the first namibia to go overseas for education and before that learned from mandela, dube, and other famous south african leaders. he lived in the us for 30 or 40 years because he had trouble getting back to namibia and it was still under apartheid rule. during his time in the US he was very active in namibia politics and the civil rights movement in the US. he spoke in front of the UN about namibia and later helped MLKJ (they were good friends) get a slot to speak in front of the UN, he had dinner with Malcolm X every friday and was close friends with Maya Angelou. so big deal. he shared a lot of things that need to be done in namibia and sad things that were going on but he also reminded us that namibia is still a teenager - it is celebrating it's 17th birthday next month.
2nd speaker - used to be the minister of education in namibia so talked a lot about education here, he was okay but mostly it is just hard to think about how much needs to be done to get the masses educated. education is required here but people have to pay school fees so many people do not complete education and a lot of schools are full. for example today I went to 3 different schools for my internship to try and see if we could get this boy into 10th grade and none of the schools had room for him - so even if he could pay for school he couldn't get in! that is just absurd to me.
3rd speaker - a guy from the US embassy in namibia. very fascinating. told us a lot about what is going on in namibia and what the US is doing. the US is actually doing a lot and is starting a new program which sounds really positive but who knows what kind of strings are attached because of it. however we learned a lot about AIDS and different issues facing Namibia. For example, as I've said before, Namibia has the largest gap between the rich and the poor. Around 80% of the population makes an average of US$100-200 per year while the top percentages make US$200,000 to 1 million per year and there aren't too many people in between.

moving on...
we are currently doing a home stay from last thursday until this upcoming sunday. we still attend our internships and classes but the rest of the time we spend with our home stay family. I live with Sam and Trudy and two girls (16 and 17) who are relatives living with them for a while because they needed some help and one of them is an orphan. They are a very nice family and I especially like the girls. However we haven't done a lot and they just can't compare to my last home stay. We don't really talk with the neighbors or talk much in general - just eat together then go our separate ways. But I am enjoying being there and just spending sometime away from the center and with a family. this weekend we are going to their house on a community farm which should be fun. over the past weekend we just hung out a lot and on saturday I went to a funeral (interesting) and then we went to this park just outside of Windhoek to go swimming. It was absolutely beautiful there. And I saw giraffes!!! We were driving out and there were a bunch of wildebeests then 4 giraffes really close to the road, I was excited. pictures will come if my computer ever lasts for more than 30 minutes at a time.

So it's been good but hard at times. I struggle a lot with how I fit in here and especially at my internship. I really want to positively impact my internship but I don't know how. My advisor is never there and when she is she is not very helpful. I enjoy the people and the kids (who knew I liked little kids, not me) but I don't feel like there is a project for me to work on. And then I talk with people about possible ideas and everything seems so impossible. Namibia does not have the same programs and outlets and resources as in the US so I feel more or less helpless in doing anything. I really enjoyed it today when we went into the community and visited people - also I just feel like I belong there now, and that is a nice feeling. I'm going extra tomorrow to visit the youth club which should be good and I'm trying to brainstorm and research but haven't had much time for that either. But hopefully I will think of something and I'm enjoying it in the meantime.

Well that's it for now....
hope you all are well