Friday, February 26, 2010

being neighborly

I was lying down outside my house trying to “repose” when my 4 little neighbor kids came and sat down next to me, started yelling and banging on things and basically driving my crazy, as they often do, which gave me the idea to write about my neighbors and “quartier.”

For starters, kids run rampant. In the neighborhood, the 4 before mentioned kids range form age 3 to 5, I think, and I'm not sure if I've ever seen then with an adult. You know that saying “it takes a village to raise a kid” well that's definitely how it work in Bilanga. And, it's not at all an issue of neglect, I don't think anyone can say a child is neglected here, at least not in the way we consider the word in the States. But it's just you don't have the same worries because everyone knows your kids and will make sure they don't do anything too horrible, make sure they don't get hurt too badly, and that they get some water and what not. There's also a hierarchy of age here. Kids have an unusual respect for adults, or anyone older, so they generally listen. Unfortunately that doesn't always work in my case. Language is a huge part of it, and the fact that I sometimes play with the kids, basically has given certain kids the green light to drive me crazy and never listen.
Ca va aller.

Kids included or not, neighbors are very important here. People generally live in courtyards, usually with family, but not always. There are different houses grouped together, often surrounded by a wall. The people in your courtyard are essential and so are people in surrounding courtyards. You live in such close proximity that you can't help but have your lives intermingle. Neighbors here are people that you can generally go to for anything. You want to borrow a knife, my pot, my broom, no problem. The extras always go to neighbors too. If I have too many tomatoes or onions that are going to spoil I give them to one of the people in my courtyard, and vice versa.

Essentially you share everything. Literally when I step out of my door in the morning the first thing I do is say good morning to my neighbors. Then I cross the 15 ft between my house and my neighbor's to borrow her broom and sweep off my terrace. I don't think a single day passes without someone using something of mine or me using something of another person's. And while the privacy is lacking, I love the sense of community. Also, in some ways I am not as independent, but I also don't need to have as much for just myself, instead of stressing out about getting my own rope and wood to hang up laundry, I use my neighbor's line. And while admittedly, I still struggle with sharing some aspects of my possessions, or food, of life, I'm learning and have grown a lot in that area. I remember there were a couple times my neighbor boys/brothers asked me to do some cooking and things for them and clean up and I was rather annoyed, but then later that day then cooked for me and are continuously helping me in various ways. Everyone helps everyone and it all sorts itself out. It's quite beautiful actually, you don't worry about giving or getting, it just all falls into place, everyone takes care of each other, genuinely.

My courtyard family consists of some pretty great people:

Mariam is an incredible woman who is one of the strongest, independent women I've met in Burkina and is probably also one of the kindest as well. Everyone in village loves and respects her, including me, and while we often do our own thing, if I ever need anything, or just want to chat some, I know she is there. My stove broke a while back and I wasn't sure how I was going to get another one, or pay for another, and she went to another village asked her sister for her old one, brought it back, cleaned it up and gave it to me, sans problem. Unfortunately, it didn't work too well either, so now she takes my old one and goes to find her friend who ends up fixing it for me. It was a bit of work, but since I didn't really know what to do, she took care of everything for me. And in the mean time, she either let me borrow her stove or cooked for me.

David is a student at the CEG (jr high but older) and is responsible for the upkeep of the courtyard and is also my brother (which is kinda funny as my real brother's name is david as well). From day one, he's been helping me out with various things. He's the one that kills the chickens when we get them, or brought me all those fish, or takes me out of the village to go see the extended family. He also has an incredibly caring soul. There's been a few times where I've been really stressed out about something or worried and just ended up explaining my feelings to him and he listened and gave me some great advice.

Kassiom is another brother and one of my best friends. Kassiom is around my age and works for his brother buying and trading different produce, like peanuts or sesame. Also a cultivator and my running partner. I probably fight with Kassiom more than other people, which I believe is a good sign of our friendship, because I feel comfortable enough with him to really tell him what I think. Usually it's over stupid things like what time to get up in the morning to go running (he wants to finish before the sun even starts to come out, and I want to sleep/see the road). My 2 brothers have made a huge difference in my life here, we celebrate together, argue and laugh constantly.

Luuta and Mifaliba are a young couple who live behind my house who are always fun to be around. Luuta is Burkinabe but grew up in the Ivory Coast and just moved to Bilanga a few years ago, so in some ways we can relate to each other really well. There are both around my age as well and whenever they decide to have babies they will probably be the most beautiful kids ever. Their french is more limited but it all works and we laugh a lot with my limited Gulmantche or when Luuta tries to teach me how to make To (the traditional food they eat with everything here).

There was a teacher living in the courtyard as well, with her baby and a girl, but she recently moved to be closer to the school. So, we will be gaining a new member to our random family sometime soon, which is exciting.
But living here has definitely given me a new sense of community, and has taught me a lot about sharing and giving. And while it's not always easy living so closely and intimately with others, I sure wouldn't ever choose to change my situation.